Dimitri's New Gig
by SpacePirate Khan
Summary: The conqueror of dimensions is taking time off, and as his first job in his new hobby of ruining kiddie shows, he decides to wreck Dora's world..


Disclaimer:  
I DO NOT OWN DORA THE EXPLORER, nor do I particularly like the show. THIS IS JUST MY CRUEL WAY OF DEALING WITH IT!! HAHAHAHAHH!!!  
  
  
WARNING!!  
If you actually LIKE Dora, STOP READING!! That's right, STOP!! GO BACK!! HIT THE BACK BUTTON ON YOUR BROWSER!! THAT'S RIGHT!!! THANK YOU!!! Oh and please no flames for being mean to kids shows. Thankerz.  
  
  
  
((The stupid Dora the Explorer theme song and title screen play out))  
  
"Hey there!" Dora said to the 13-year-old that had came here from another dimension. He was wearing long pants, a sleeveless shirt, and a long floor-length trenchcoat, and some steel-tipped boots, all of which were black. His name was Dimitri, conquerer of dimensions. But that's another story, so let's continue with this one. Dimitri merely waved.   
"Ok, so today's been a little boring, but cheer up! I'm sure something will come up soon!" she said. Of coarse she had been saying this for hours. Suddenly, a goofy-lookin monkey in yellow boots came running up to them.  
"Dora! Dora!" he called out.  
"Hey, it's Boots!" she said, as the monkey ran up to them.  
Dimitri looked down at the monkey. "Well, duh, what's so special about a pair of boots?"  
"No, his name is boots!" Dora said. Dimitri looked at the monkey. "........"  
"Anyway, what's wrong Boots?" the annoyingly-big-eyed girl asked.  
"I just got this new toy, a remote-control Car.." said the monkey, pulling out a remote as a car drove by, "and Swiper is trying to swipe it from me! He's been stalking me all day!"  
"Oh no, that's terrible! What are we going to do?" Dora said.  
"That's easy, go to Court and file a lawsuit on Swiper for stalking you and have them put a restriction notice on him." said Dimitri. The two looked at him, then at eachother, then at the screen.   
"Well, ok, but we have to find the court first. You have to say, "MAP"!" said Dora.   
"This is pathetic.." Dimitri said unaudibly.   
"SAY MAP! SAY MAP!!" Boots said, jumping up and down.  
Suddenly, the map flew out of her backpack and began singing it's corny little map song. Dimitri sighed irritably. "Ok, to get to the Court House, you have to first make it across the Busy City, then you have to make it through the Legal System, and then the Court House!" said Map excitedly as the map plotted a course. As the map closed, a Network Censor came running up. "STOP THE SHOW!!" she shouted. "THIS SHOW IS NOT SUITIBLE FOR CHILDREN!!"  
"Feh, put a sock in it." Dimitri said, pulling out a gun and filling the censor full of holes. Dora and Boots looked shocked, before saying, "Ok, so now that the evil Censor is gone, remember where we have to go; Big City, Legall System, Court House! City, System, Court House!" Her and boots began singing and walking down the path. Dimitri followed, who was highly irritated at the time. And slinking along in the bushes was the evil Swiper, preparing to swipe Boots' remote car, which was driving in circles aroudn Boots as he walked. Suddenly, the bushes nearby Dora rustled as Swiper poked his head out. "Oh, no, it's Swiper!" Dora said. "Quick, we have to stop him! Say 'Swiper no Swiping!'" she said. Dimitri looked at her, puzzled. "What the heck will 'Swiper no Swiping' do?"  
Suddenly, the fox leapt out of the bushes and began walking in the usual stupid fashion towards Boots and his car. Dora and Boots held their hands out, shouting "SWIPER NO SWIPING!!" over and over. Dimitri rolled his eyes, then looked in shock and disbelief as Swiper snapped his fingers and said "Oh, man.." before running away to the city. Dora and Boots and Dimitri soon made it to the Big City, and looked around as hundreds of people crowded around them. "Where's Dimitri?" Dora said.  
  
  
Not too far off, Dimitri had stopped Swiper. "YOU CALL YOURSELF A THIEF!? YOU'RE NOTHIGN BUT A YELLOW-BELLIED WHIMP!! YOU GIVE A BAD NAME TO THIEFS EVERYWHERE!!!" yelled Dimitri. Swiper cowered. "S-S-Sorry, s-sir.."  
"STOP COWERING!!" he yelled louder, practically roaring by now. "Now, here's what you do.."  
  
  
So, as Dora and Boots made it to the Legal System and began trying to start a case, Dimitri coached Swiper. Of coarse, the girl and the monkey were too young to get a case started, so they began walking through the city in search of Dimitri. Suddenly, Swiper popped up. "OH NO!!" Dora said. "SWIPER NO SWIPING!!" the girl and monkey said over and over. The fox stood there. "Man, how did I fall for that before?" he said, pushing Boots down and stealing the remote car. Then he practically ripped off Dora's backpack. The fox escaped, sitting on the car and driving it away, as Boots and Dora cried together. In the shadows nearby, Dimitri busted out laughing. "My job here is done." he said, opening a vortex to another dimension and disappearing with it.  
  
The World of Dora will Ne'er Be The Same...  
Swiper's a good thief now, oh what a shame.  
The Censor is dead, the ratings have fallen,  
And Dora is in the big city, a-baulin'.  
The moral to this story? I can't think of one,  
So I guess this horrible massacre's done.  
This story took me a long time to do,  
Thusly I'll kill you if you don't review!! 


End file.
